“This are the censors that create a virtual skeleton of Karl’s body, and these are the lumpy man tits that keep him from getting proper acting roles.”

Classically-trained British thespian Andy Serkis is famous for being the man pretending to be a chimp learning to become a man who taught us all what it means to be human in Rise of Planet of the Apes, grunting and pooping in a grey leotard as many a producer hailed his performance as “So, so brave,” clapping slowly in awe, eyes welling up with tears. Serkis was so inspired by the work that he’s set up his own Imaginarium Studio, “to develop the art of motion capture in the UK.” Gollum University, I like to call it.

Thanks to heroes like Andy Serkis, we’ll never again have to see a Jurassic Park where soulless dinosaurs are moved around by puppeteers or controlled by mechanical animatronics. They’ll be given heart, soul, and emotion, by people who know how mythical creatures and extinct beasts should feel. Actors! Wearing spandex!

Anyway, Serkis’s Imaginarium announced they’d be producing a motion-capture take on George Orwell’s Animal Farm a few months back, and he recently gave BBC News a tour of his facilities.

They do important work.

Man, what I wouldn’t give to see a version of Planet of the Apes or Lord of the Rings where Gollum and Caesar aren’t animated, just Andy Serkis in his leotard pretending to be a monkey.

I want to marry this picture.

[You can check out the video version of the tour here]

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